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Post by Salzackbar mini™ on Jul 9, 2021 20:51:04 GMT -5
Merciful heavens, get out of here with that lewd gesture GIF!
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Post by Chalice_Of_Evil on Jul 9, 2021 22:13:07 GMT -5
Oh my, the poor girl seems to have trouble holding that exercise spheroid. Aha, the gentleman is wondering about the ingredients in his cigar! Salzackbar mini™ - Our human 'innocence generator', here to filter lewd GIFs through so they end up converted to 'innocent' GIFs.
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Post by Weirdraptor mini™ on Jul 10, 2021 16:10:29 GMT -5
Merciful heavens, get out of here with that lewd gesture GIF! If you thought that was too much pussy, wait 'til you get a load of this!
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Post by Weirdraptor mini™ on Jul 11, 2021 16:10:05 GMT -5
Merciful heavens, get out of here with that lewd gesture GIF! If you thought that was too much pussy, wait 'til you get a load of this! EDIT: Oh, for crying out loud! The video isn't anything pornographic. It's just the scene from From Dusk Til Dawn where Cheech Marin is shouting about pussies in front of The Titty Twister.
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Post by Salzackbar mini™ on Jul 12, 2021 13:11:25 GMT -5
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Post by Salzackbar mini™ on Jul 15, 2021 15:50:21 GMT -5
A real-life situation that could make for a lateral thinking game.
Puzzle: “Why does a badly written sentence result in Sklazmark getting mad?”
Solution: “Sklazmark flagged this atrociously written sentence, which made no sense, to the first-read editor. First-read editor tells Sklazmark stet. Sklazmark then gets in trouble for not catching atrociously written sentence. Sklazmark then bemoans office politics on The Halted Otterbox. Stet.”
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Post by Weirdraptor mini™ on Jul 15, 2021 17:32:29 GMT -5
A real-life situation that could make for a lateral thinking game. Puzzle: “Why does a badly written sentence result in Sklazmark getting mad?” Solution: “Sklazmark flagged this atrociously written sentence, which made no sense, to the first-read editor. First-read editor tells Sklazmark stet. Sklazmark then gets in trouble for not catching atrociously written sentence. Sklazmark then bemoans office politics on The Halted Otterbox. Stet.” I word well good!
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Post by Salzackbar mini™ on Jul 16, 2021 8:38:03 GMT -5
A real-life situation that could make for a lateral thinking game. Puzzle: “Why does a badly written sentence result in Sklazmark getting mad?” Solution: “Sklazmark flagged this atrociously written sentence, which made no sense, to the first-read editor. First-read editor tells Sklazmark stet. Sklazmark then gets in trouble for not catching atrociously written sentence. Sklazmark then bemoans office politics on The Halted Otterbox. Stet.” I word well good! Nuh-uh! Me am gooder of you!
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Post by Weirdraptor mini™ on Jul 16, 2021 17:09:20 GMT -5
Nuh-uh! Me am gooder of you!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2021 0:33:41 GMT -5
A man in a pirate costume flipped me off today. He just sailed right by and gave me the finger.
True story.
Another day in the life of Ackbar.
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Post by President Ackbar mini™ on Jul 17, 2021 0:35:34 GMT -5
A man in a pirate costume flipped me off today. He just sailed right by and gave me the finger. True story. Another day in the life of Ackbar. ARRRRRRRRRR!
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Post by Weirdraptor mini™ on Jul 19, 2021 22:25:56 GMT -5
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Post by Salzackbar mini™ on Jul 19, 2021 23:01:40 GMT -5
The Loon by James Tate
A loon woke me up this morning. It was like waking up in another world. I had no idea what was expected of me. I waited for instructions. Someone called and asked me if I wanted a free trip to Florida. I said, “Sure. Can I go today?” A man in a uniform picked me up in a limousine, and the next thing I know I’m being chased by an alligator across a parking lot. A crowd gathers and cheers me on. Of course, none of this really happened. I’m still sleeping. I don’t want to go to work. I want to know what the loon is saying. It sounds like ecstasy tinged with unfathomable terror. One thing is certain: at least they are not speaking of tax shelters. The phone rings. It’s my boss. She says, “Where are you?” I say, “I don’t know. I don’t recognize my surrounding. I think I’ve been kidnapped. If they make demands of you, don’t give in. That’s my professional advice.” Just then, the loon let out a tremendous looping, soaring, swirling, quadruple whoop. “My God, are you alright?” my boss said. “In case we do not meet again, I want you to know that I’ve always loved you, Agnes,” I said. “What?” she said. “What are you saying?” “Good-bye, my darling. Try to remember me as your ever loyal servant,” I said. “Did you say you loved me?” she said. I said, “Yes,” and hung up. I tried to go back to sleep, but the idea of being kidnapped had me quite worked up. I looked in the mirror for signs of torture. Every time the loon cried, I screamed and contorted my face in agony. They were going to cut off my head and place it on a stake. I overheard them talking. They seemed like very reasonable men, even, one might say, likable.
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Post by Chalice_Of_Evil on Jul 20, 2021 2:13:09 GMT -5
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Post by Salzackbar mini™ on Jul 22, 2021 11:04:19 GMT -5
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Post by President Ackbar mini™ on Jul 26, 2021 14:25:44 GMT -5
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Post by Salzackbar mini™ on Jul 27, 2021 10:35:25 GMT -5
The fascinating thing is that, while yes, these people were obviously health nuts, it was so much more than that. They were health nuts who also cooked like aliens who had never seen human food before. Or like small children making “potions”. One of the more edible things they served to me once was a dessert they made up which consisted of halved apples rolled in cornflour with some milk poured on top. One time, they were convinced to make pizza as a treat. They decided to put an onion on it. Fair and fine, you’d think. Not in that house. They just cut the onion in half once, and stuck each uncapped half facedown on one side of the pizza.
Speaking of onions, one time, my friend decided to make a banana and yoghurt smoothie. Her dad came in, said it wasn’t healthy enough, and made her add an onion to it.
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Post by President Ackbar mini™ on Jul 27, 2021 15:09:09 GMT -5
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Post by Salzackbar mini™ on Jul 29, 2021 22:11:29 GMT -5
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Post by Weirdraptor mini™ on Aug 1, 2021 21:47:58 GMT -5
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Post by Weirdraptor mini™ on Aug 2, 2021 0:09:03 GMT -5
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Post by Weirdraptor mini™ on Aug 3, 2021 20:24:41 GMT -5
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Post by Weirdraptor mini™ on Aug 4, 2021 21:31:36 GMT -5
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Post by catface on Aug 4, 2021 22:47:35 GMT -5
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Post by President Ackbar mini™ on Aug 5, 2021 0:13:04 GMT -5
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Post by Chalice_Of_Evil on Aug 5, 2021 1:17:39 GMT -5
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Post by Chalice_Of_Evil on Aug 13, 2021 1:04:24 GMT -5
How do you titillate an ocelot? Oscillate its tits a lot.
👩💼👩🧑🍹🛫😈😟📞😪📞😡😓📞🚽🤬📞👩🦰😓🛬🖊️🏃♀️ 🏃🚇🚙📞👩🦰💣🚙🏠🔪😡🏑🥵🔫👩🏽🦳👨🏽🦳🖕
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Aug 13, 2021 1:24:26 GMT -5
Does anyone really know what they’re doing? I sure don’t!
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Post by Chalice_Of_Evil on Aug 13, 2021 17:49:38 GMT -5
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Post by Salzackbar mini™ on Aug 17, 2021 14:31:19 GMT -5
I am now officially a member of that great, wonderful mass of people who hate their jobs. I’m considering becoming a wandering minstrel who rides the rails, sows apple seeds, makes ends meet on odd jobs, and shares music with those I meet along the way. Yup. Man oh man, Walt Whitman and Woody Guthrie had the right idea. On the other hand, I need that root of all evil.
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