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Post by Chalice_Of_Evil on Dec 24, 2021 19:25:36 GMT -5
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Post by Salzackbar mini™ on Dec 26, 2021 0:03:24 GMT -5
There have always been one or two who don’t like Christmas—Scrooge, and Attila the Hun.
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Post by Weirdraptor mini™ on Dec 26, 2021 0:25:45 GMT -5
There have always been one or two who don’t like Christmas—Scrooge, and Attila the Hun. Huey, Dewey, and Louie will be so sad.
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Post by Salzackbar mini™ on Jan 11, 2022 17:24:46 GMT -5
I’m thinking of stealing a phrase from that powerful, poignant masterpiece of music and poetry, the Rockapella “Zombie Jamboree,” and titling something The Zombie Who Sits in City Hall.
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Post by President Ackbar mini™ on Jan 16, 2022 15:43:31 GMT -5
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Post by Salzackbar mini™ on Jan 18, 2022 15:57:51 GMT -5
Welcome to Good Morning Fairview! We have a wonderful show in store for you today. My first guest is Marilyn Monroe, who’ll be sharing some homemaking secrets with us, dishing the dirt on ex-hubby John F. Kennedy, and telling us about her new movie with Leonardo DiCaprio! So don’t touch that dial!
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Post by Salzackbar mini™ on Jan 19, 2022 9:30:25 GMT -5
QUICK TIPS FOR BOSSES, CONT’D! Don’t browbeat an editor who gave up an hour on Thanksgiving weekend for choosing a picture you inexplicably dislike. If you do, you come off as a @#$%, which, admittedly, you are and which that editor should have been smart enough to recognize before he took the @#$%!*& job. Still a jerk.
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Post by Weirdraptor mini™ on Jan 19, 2022 21:09:38 GMT -5
QUICK TIPS FOR BOSSES, CONT’D! Don’t browbeat an editor who gave up an hour on Thanksgiving weekend for choosing a picture you inexplicably dislike. If you do, you come off as a @#$%, which, admittedly, you are and which that editor should have been smart enough to recognize before he took the @#$%!*& job. Still a jerk. Did something else happen?
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Post by Salzackbar mini™ on Jan 20, 2022 14:15:59 GMT -5
Did something else happen? Ehh. He’s just an immature jerk who thinks he’s a tough guy and is now on a power trip because our editor in chief is on maternity leave.
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Post by Weirdraptor mini™ on Jan 22, 2022 16:56:22 GMT -5
Did something else happen? Ehh. He’s just an immature jerk who thinks he’s a tough guy and is now on a power trip because our editor in chief is on maternity leave. My friend. A good pair of cement boots solve many problems.
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Post by Salzackbar mini™ on Jan 24, 2022 17:33:33 GMT -5
If you ask my opinion, Kewdingham was bitten by a venomous green crocodile. He saw them, nobody else did; the reader thought they were hallucinations. But they were conjured up by the crooked financier Sundale, who is really the devil.
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Post by President Ackbar mini™ on Jan 27, 2022 11:47:42 GMT -5
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Post by Salzackbar mini™ on Jan 27, 2022 15:03:56 GMT -5
Truely
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Post by Salzackbar mini™ on Jan 28, 2022 15:48:05 GMT -5
I predict the "Nosferatu entering your bedroom late at night" look will not take off among women.
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Post by Salzackbar mini™ on Feb 1, 2022 13:36:33 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Feb 1, 2022 20:18:01 GMT -5
I want to like clam chowder, but I never do. Why do I keep ordering it?
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Post by Deleted on Feb 1, 2022 20:31:53 GMT -5
I want to like clam chowder, but I never do. Why do I keep ordering it? STOOPID! Oh!
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Post by Weirdraptor mini™ on Feb 1, 2022 21:07:22 GMT -5
I want to like clam chowder, but I never do. Why do I keep ordering it? It's the Ackbar in you.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 1, 2022 22:29:51 GMT -5
I want to like clam chowder, but I never do. Why do I keep ordering it? It's the Ackbar in you. Must be!
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Post by Chalice_Of_Evil on Feb 2, 2022 0:48:15 GMT -5
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Post by Weirdraptor mini™ on Feb 10, 2022 17:46:46 GMT -5
Down at the English fair, One day I was there, When I heard the showman shouting underneath the flare, "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, There they are, standing in a row, Big ones, small ones, Some as big as your head, Give 'em a twist, a flick of the wrist!" That's what the showman said.
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Post by Salzackbar mini™ on Feb 10, 2022 18:29:33 GMT -5
Valentine’s with the Crane Boys
Love is in the air Every February. Life, though, isn’t fair, So just drink your sherry.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2022 20:30:55 GMT -5
We’re so sorry, Admiral Ackbar. But we haven’t done a bloody thing all day.
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Post by Salzackbar mini™ on Feb 15, 2022 13:24:40 GMT -5
I am now officially a member of that great, wonderful mass of people who hate their jobs. I’m considering becoming a wandering minstrel who rides the rails, sows apple seeds, makes ends meet on odd jobs, and shares music with those I meet along the way. Yup. Man oh man, Walt Whitman and Woody Guthrie had the right idea. On the other hand, I need that root of all evil. What this person said!
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2022 16:14:22 GMT -5
…As long as they give him the BLUE SKIN™️ and the FROZEN WIFE™️
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Post by Salzackbar mini™ on Feb 17, 2022 18:15:57 GMT -5
WOW! RACISM MUCH? (That’s the saying, right?)
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2022 18:26:25 GMT -5
WOW! RACISM MUCH? (That’s the saying, right?) No “race swapping” with Mr Freeze! I don’t wanna see any pink or purple actors cast! He must be played by a blue actor!
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Post by Weirdraptor mini™ on Feb 20, 2022 20:10:52 GMT -5
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Post by Chalice_Of_Evil on Feb 21, 2022 2:35:25 GMT -5
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Post by Salzackbar mini™ on Feb 22, 2022 16:19:33 GMT -5
Frederick Coombs was born in England in 1803. He realized after he moved to San Francisco that he was George Washington. He wore a Continental Army uniform of tanned buckskin and set up his headquarters at the saloon of Martin and Horton, where he would study maps while planning his campaigns for the Revolutionary War. He spent a winter starving himself until concerned friends convinced him that the Battle of Valley Forge was over. In his office as president of the United States he composed letters to the United States Congress and issued proclamations.
During the day Washington, né Coombs, would often be seen in Montgomery Street wearing a powdered wig and tricorne hat and carrying a banner that proclaimed him “The Great Matrimonial Candidate.” Washington, né Coombs, who was short, balding, and rotund, thought himself to be a ladies’ man, which eventually caused a dispute with the emperor of the United States, His Imperial Majesty Norton I. When Norton I ordered Washington, né Coombs, to leave the city, Washington, né Coombs, obliged.
Mark Twain in 1868 discovered Washington, né Coombs, in New York. He remained convinced of his charms on the ladies, whom he entertained by displaying his legs on street corners. He traveled around New York, Philadelphia, Baltimore, and Washington, D.C., selling photos for 25 cents of his visit to Benjamin Franklin’s grave. When the William Penn Mansion in Philadelphia was proposed for demolition he asked Congress to give it to him. After it was torn down he switched to demanding the Washington Monument.
Washington, né Coombs, died in New York City on April 9, 1874.
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